I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
