My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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