Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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