The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.