Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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