Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
