party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
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you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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