My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
