3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We're too hungover to prance.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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