Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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