similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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