Quick, to the slutcave!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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