his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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