I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
