so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
