we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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