apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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