There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
