I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
