Apparently you make a good broom.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
