I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
