my mouth tastes like poor choices
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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