just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off