In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
