Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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