You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
