We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
