i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
