What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
