I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
