she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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