and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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