Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
