We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Randomize
