What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
