I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
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