she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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