my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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