i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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