My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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