I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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