Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
