mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
