Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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