I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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