I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
