We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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