What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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