Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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