if only i could text you this smell
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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