at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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