I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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