ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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