1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
