umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
