I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have demons in me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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