I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
