too bad you live with your parents still
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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