I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
