Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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