Yo dont text me then not text me
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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