so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
