I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
