...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize