I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
