dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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