best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
